I took a walk in a forest preserve today. Finally. Fresh air, trees, deer, no cars or buildings in sight...
It made me think of a lot of things.
I thought about the futile things we put so much importance in.
I thought about how easily we lose our sense of wonder.
I thought about how I had been raised and taught to appreciate the things that matter.
I thought about how much human beings have complicated the life God has given us.
I thought about what's really me and what's done to please or fit it or conform.

Life in Chicago is good. It has its high points (church, hanging with Marie,being in a new place, etc). It also has its lows. It's been emotionally difficult to live among the rich. Not because I envy them, but because I am just overwhelmed. I don't feel like I am around real people. It's like people are having to play into a certain role... But what's underneath all that?

This is the church community I am currently hoping I can call my home for a little while: Sojourn

Well, I'm on the other side of the ocean... So far, so good. People have been incredibly kind to me. I feel underservedly blessed.
I went to Willow Creek's Axis service tonight - the sermon was good. It was all about the tongue, and how we really need to be watching what we say. Nothing new, but a needed reminder. It triggered some thinking about this past year.
Man, I have really struggled. I can't really put it into words, but it's been a difficult year. I hope this new environment will motivate and hurl me into a thirst for God and His Word. I really need - and I really want - communion with Him. Communion with others. I pray this place will provide that.
I know I need to be far from home and all that entangles me there. I'm excited about these coming days, these coming months, these coming years.
God, I know I have payed a lot of lipservice to You without really backing it up with any actions. Please take my heart and transform it completely. Free me from the things that I've let entangle me. Free me from the need of approval. Give me a thist for You that will have me drikning from Your Word and from Your Presence daily. Help me find myself in You. Because You are the only one who's worthy. I love you, Jesus, and I want to come back to living every day, every instant for You.

Five Days & Counting

Sorry for the long break. I spent a week down in the beautiful South of France. It was good, overall. The landscapes were beautiful, the smells were sweet, the company was good.
I am five days before departure. It's a constant whilrwind of emotions: apprehension, excitement, melancholy, nostalgia, hope, disappointment. It's hard. But also not a big deal. Part of me can't wait to get out of here; a big part of me. But there's that little part of me that still wants to hang on to the security of friendships I have here.
And it's a weird thing, that, because I'm overly sensitive these days. Which explains the wide range of emotions.
Ugh. I wish we humans weren't so... what's the word.... thick headed?