Oops

In my rebellion against surfacey consumer-driven evangelical Christianity, I have forgotten the basics of relationship with God. There must be a return to communication with Him before anything else happens.

"A fool finds no pleasure in understanding
But delights in airing his own opinions"
- Proverbs 18:2

Mammon

Why do we spend more time talking about Chritmas gifts
Than we do about the humble coming of GOD among us?
Why do we spend so much money on useless things
Instead of supporting twenty starving families?
Why do we base our decisions on finance
Instead of following our God-given passions?
Why is it so hard for us to delight in and worship God
But so easy for us to count and dwell upon the abundance (or lack) of our monies?
Why are we so driven by consumption?

Does it break Your heart?

Thoughts On Prayer

Prayer is a strange thing. It has never come easy for me. My attitude towards it goes something like this:
God knows me inside and out. Not only does He know my desires and dreams, He also knows how He plans to fulfill them. So is there really a point in me "praying" about such and such, when really God knows me better than I know myself anyways.
I feel like my thoughts about some things, my awareness of certain things, my acknowledgement of God's presence in some things are prayers in and of themselves. Is there a need for me to vocalise and set time aside to "pray" about them?
I always feel trite when I try to vocalise things to God. If we are "friends of God", then shouldn't God and I be experiencing life together, instead of me just saying a bunch of words to Him?
I find that many written prayers are beautiful - their poetry is really what inspires me. But prayer has to be more than words, right?
I have so much to learn. I know that prayer should change me, first and foremost. But how does that transformation happen?
I feel like I have never had a grasp on what true prayer really is. Sure, I can "pray out loud" and sound all nice. But what if prayer were to become a habit in my life that no one else knew about? Authentic conversation between God and I?
Are feelings prayers? After I watched Hotel Rwanda, I had so many emotions - could those emotions be translated to prayer? Just being aware of the suffering, and reflecting upon the plight of those less fortunate than me. Can that be a prayer, even if I don't ever say "Dear God, please help those people"?
And will my pleading change things? Or does God see beyond my pleading? It seems He always meets me five steps ahead of where I was thinking He would.
Just some thoughts...

Inspiration In Unlikely Places

I am listening to Green Day and looking at my sister's latest online pictures.
And it makes me want to live a little more.
Pick myself up and move forward.
Enough with sitting here doing nothing and moaning about it.

i've been thinking about you
but then i thought of who i was
maybe i see a little of me in you
and it reminds me
of who i could be
sorry i lost myself
can we meet again
when i'm me?

"Singleness Is A Gift"

I really hate it when pastors say that.