Failed

Yesterday I was really exhausted after work. On the bus ride home, a mentally handicapped guy sat next to me and started talking to me. Endlessly. About people living in squats, about acceptance, about being misunderstood by one's parents.
It bugged me. All I wanted was for him to stop talking so that I could close my eyes and doze off. I made an effort to answer him. But I didn't engage into the conversation. I didn't ask him questions. I didn't show much interest, or love, or anything like that. I was actually more concerned with what the normal people around me were overhearing of our conversation than with how much this young man needed to talk to someone.
And I was really glad when I got off the bus.

In case you were wondering, I'm the one who often talks about social justice. About loving the unlovable. About following Jesus no matter what the cost. Apparently, I only want to do that when it's convenient for me. Only during my scheduled community service hours. Don't ask me to be faithful to Jesus when I'm in a bad mood or after I've worked nine hours or when I just don't feel like it.

My handicapped bus companion said "you know, the girl from the squat that I talked to said that many young people aren't open, they don't understand people who are different. But you can always come hang out at the squat, we'll always welcome you here".

I hope he meets someone from a church one day, and that they tell him the same about the church. I sure failed. And there goes another wasted opportunity for making this world a little more right.